All of my plants got eaten by snails / slugs this year, including my (eight) beloved eggplants. It's hard to motivate myself to plant more because it feels like, what's the point? Unfortunately, I refuse to use poison or pesticides, because I don't want that near my vegetables, so it seems like I'm just paying to feed the snails and slugs.
This is just a reminder to myself not to give up, and to plant more things in pots away from snail / slug territory. The payoff will be worth it; I'll have eggplant to use in these recipes. Right?

Super lazy Eggplant Parmesan.
- eggplant
- mayo
- panko breadcrumbs
- onion powder, garlic powder, fresh parsley, oregano, thyme
- grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat 425° oven
Mix breadcrumbs with seasoning and cheese
Spread mayo on eggplant
Dip in breadcrumb mixture
425°, five minutes, flip, five more minutes or until golden brown
Serve with tomato sauce and extra cheese

Link to Eggplant Parmesan pizza:
http://www.recipezaar.com/Eggplant-Parmesan-Pizza-or-the-Yummiest-Pizza-Ever-219700

Wish me luck in my battle against the snails and slugs.

Tags: eggplant, fail, garden, recipes

The title says it all, doesn't it?
Does that even look like asparagus? Or sausage? Or a heart? (No to all.)

... don't judge me.*

Anyway, procrastination on math homework via MS Paint and random blogging aside, asparagus is coming into season, so excited! Fun fact: asparagus is not only good for you, but it also makes your pee smell. I read it in a really good book. SERIOUSLY. It's not from experience. (*REITERATED)

Asparagus, sausage, tomato sauce and mozzarella on pizza. Dried thyme, parsley, oregano (or prepacked Italian seasoning). For me, a sprinkling of red pepper flakes before consumption. SO GOOD. At first it was questionable. "Asparagus..? On pizza? hm. Well, Wolfgang Puck did it." If it's good enough for WP, it's good enough for me. So I did it.

THANK GOODNESS for Wolfgang Puck, and his really hot wife for the sole reason that she's really hot. WP helped me conceptualize the pizza, and the hotness of his wife reminded me that one can not eat five slices and still attain a hotness at least somewhat comparable to hers. Hooray.

The boy has a weakness for pie. I have a love of baking and cooking. Nice how that worked out, huh? This was my attempt to impress on our first Valentine's Day together: banana cream pie.

I was unhappily surprised to find that so many recipes for the filling had cornstarch as an ingredient. I have nothing against cornstarch; it was just unexpected. I'd always thought that the filling would be a custard instead of a pudding (milk thickened with eggs vs. thickened with starch).

In the end I went with this recipe for the filling and my roommate's recipe for the crust, with a little extra salt because I wanted to. This crust is super flaky and buttery, so the salt worked well. It was so easy, and yes, I did end up impressing my date :)

P.S. Lest you think it was all fun and games we tried to make Rice Krispie treats as a fun activity (we're lame like that) and FAILED. How does one f*** up Rice Krispie treats?! We didn't even drink that much wine! Sadly, they (it, as it is all one massive disaster) are hard, overly crunchy and more than a little bit scary. I'm still eating them though, because I am marshmallow obsessed.

Tags: banana, custard, dessert, pie

http://thisiswhyyourefat.com
Tagline: "Where dreams become heart attacks."

Quite possibly the most amazing site EVER. It showcases ridiculous feats of food such as corn dog pizzas, burgers with 10 patties, deep fried Coca Cola (wtf) and other tributes to excess. Beautiful. There is a breakfast burrito (one of my top 5 food weaknesses) that weighs SEVEN POUNDS in the archives.

I feel the need to go for another three mile run today after reading this. The first one was not enough to burn the calories gained from merely looking at the photos. Maybe this is what love feels like. Or heartburn. yeah, that too.

Go take a look and be amazed.

There is nothing as ugly and difficult to photograph as a good, messy, faux-unhealthy burrito.

- Slow cooker "refried" beans
- Baked chicken breast seasoned with salt, pepper, cumin, oregano and cayenne pepper; cubed
- Cotija cheese or shredded jack cheese (mm.. pepper jack)
- Lettuce, tomato, cilantro. I don't like raw onions :( but you can have them if you want to.
- Rice (see below)
- Tortilla

The beans are key. So easy and so AMAZING. I'm in love with my little green slow cooker.
My faux Spanish rice method:
1. Wash rice until water runs somewhat clear. It'll be translucent but light.
2. Add 2 cups rice and 2 cups water to rice cooker. Basically, 2 cups of rice. I always use a 1:1 rice to water ratio.
(This can be done on the stovetop according to your ratios, but I have no idea how to do this without burning my rice).
3. Add 1/2 cup tomato sauce to the rice for 2 cups.
4. Optional: add chicken seasoning and cilantro to rice.
5. Cook per your rice cooker instructions.


Assemble burrito ingredients as desired on tortilla. Try not to put too much filling, otherwise your burrito will explode like James Bond's pen gun in Never Say Never Again.

BURRITO GOODNESS

Tags: burrito, mexican_food, rice
Current Music: Weezer - El Scorcho

You know what I just realized?

I can make TIRAMISU now. With booze that I can buy on my own. Ah, the taste of being newly 21. (Don't judge me.)
Currently looking for the perfect recipe.
Also considering the most important aspect: Kahlua vs. Starbucks coffee liqueur. These are my two favorites.

I am crazy excited.
Experimentation begins this week.

Tags: desserts

more animals

I can has cheezburger: my favorite website ever.

But yes I am going to be a year older soon. I will be able to buy WINE (and whiskey)! Amazing. Instead of buying one of those beautifully decorated Chinese cakes, I made my own. Laptop still won't read my memory card, but it was basically a white cake with whipped cream and strawberries.

Chinese cakes are lighter and fluffier than many other cakes because whipped cream is used to decorate instead of frosting. The actual cakes are also less dense (slightly heavier than angel food cake), but in this case I opted for something probably found online, though the source is uncertain because it's a recipe scribbled in one of my notebooks.

Whipped cream > frosting. For real. I like frosting, but sometimes it's just too much. Cream paired with fresh fruit is pretty amazing, and there is really nothing I'd rather have on my birthday cake.

Tags: birthday, cake, desserts

I actually do feel bad neglecting this little food corner of my life. No excuses, but a small list of things I wish to consume tomorrow:

- Giant omelet with tomato, bacon and sour cream
- Artichokes
- Sourdough bread
- Tacos
- Chai tea
- Baked potato

Tags: menu

So I was inaccurate in my statement that I was going to post about the madeleines. They did turn out beautifully; they had the distinctive bump on the back, perfectly golden and crispy exteriors and tender insides. They looked like gorgeous little shells.

The day I was going to post about them, I learned that my laptop (which is still dying a very slow and very depressing death) will not recognize my camera memory card. I also got in a huge fight with the intended recipient (related keywords: boyfriend) and.. blah blah blah, not important. Writing about my first madeleines will occur when I can get pictures from my camera.

Until then, UGLY JAM COOKIES! I will not even post the recipe. I have never had success with baked goods from this book so I don't know why I even bothered, when there are so many other, more successful, overall better recipes available.

At least they tasted good.

Tags: cookies, desserts, sweets

Finals are over, but I still feel busy. I'm in love with a boy that will be going away soon. My beloved soon-to-be Marine. Basically, I'm trying to make the most out of the time we have left together. Going to make madelines tonight as part of his holiday present. Will talk about madelines later, most likely tomorrow.

Until then, look at this baklava. IT'S BEAUTIFUL. It also took Steph H. and me THREE HOURS to assemble. Key word: assemble. This three hours probably does not include baking time. I don't quite remember because this was supposed to be written about back in July, right after the Greek Festival in the Valley. Was it.. 300+? layers of phyllo, individually brushed with butter? I think it was. Perhaps more. Painful but with beautiful and delicious results. Homemade baklava. CHECKED OFF THE LIST (of things I need to cook in my lifetime, which will also be written about soon hopefully).

We used a combination of the recipe on the back of the phyllo dough and Emeril's recipe from FoodNetwork.com. I don't think we used cloves or lemon zest. It's something worth doing at least once IF (and only if, because alone I think this project would be torturous) you're with a really good friend (<3 Steph H.) and if you want really amazing baklava.

Okay. Madelines tomorrow or Friday morning before I head down to Riverside to see my boy.

Tags: desserts, sweets